Warlock

Released on May 26, 1995 by LJN for the Super Nintendo, Warlock is a side-scrolling action-platformer adaptation of the sequel to the film of the same name.

The opening ten-second sequence of Warlock for the SNES is one of the most stunning I have ever seen. You begin in a field in front of an English cottage, wind blowing through the trees, butterflies fluttering overhead, birds flying to and fro, your coat billowing in the wind. Your dog prances around the grass as you run through this grassy dream, and into a nightmare of an absolutely horrible video game.

Just don't play past the first ten seconds, and you'll be fine!

LJN is known for having made some horrible video games, particularly horrible video game adaptations of films and TV shows. Warlock is particularly horrible, sharing little in common with the film it is supposedly based upon. Indeed, the only positive elements that came from me playing Warlock, which came six years after film, is experiencing that beautiful first ten seconds, and the fact that I sought out and watched that fun film afterward.
Truthfully, I only bought this game for two reasons: because I saw the first ten seconds on a Youtube long-play, and because it was $3.99 at the Lafayette Play-n-Trade. You can't quite tell how bad Warlock is by watching someone else play it, but you can sure tell by playing it yourself. As soon as you run through that field, and start getting attacked in this side-scrolling action-platformer, it's clear Warlock isn't going to be a classic.

Misfire! Just like this entire game past the first 10 seconds!

You play some kind of wizard, who shoots bolts of electricity or something out of his hands, and has some kind of orb floating over his head that you can kind of use as a weapon, by pushing a button, pointing the D-pad in a direction, and hoping the orb flies that way. Also, when you attack, he stops moving. Ugh.
Enemies come at you non-stop, and you can never seem to get a leg-up on them. Die once, and it's game over. You can die by missing a jump and falling into a pit, or of course by getting hit enough times by the numberless enemies (other wizards, monsters, crazed animals, floating eyeballs that also shoot lightning). Warlock is a bad video game.

Hide! Hide from this game!

Warlock eschews the fun, fish-out-of-water horror/adventure/comedy of the 1989 original film for the rune stones and druid mumbo-jumbo of its sequel. You've got to collect six hidden rune stones from the game's multitude of infinity-long, nondescript levels. When you actually get one of the damn things, you're given a password to get back to that point after you die, so at least there's that. If that doesn't sound very fun, it's because it isn't.
I quickly tired of trying to play this travesty straight, hit google, and found that if you hit "left, left, right, left, right, right, left, right, right, left, left, right" on the d-pad at the opening menu, you get a level select screen, and the option of invincibility. Either invincibility also makes you fly, or I found some rune that gave me the power of flight, I'm not sure, because this stupid game doesn't tell you absolutely anything. So I played the rest of the game invincible, with the ability to fly, and even that didn't make things much better.

If hiding doesn't work, fly away! Fly far, far away!!!

The cheats did allow me to experience the game's dark atmosphere, its only decent quality, though even the atmosphere overstays its welcome and becomes oppressive after a few short minutes.
The graphics themselves bounce around from beautiful pixel works of art to "Did you doodle this with a BIC in your school notebook?" They are just all over the place. The soundtrack is urgent, but after a few minutes of its irritating caterwauling, you'll urgently want to mute your television.
This game is a train-wreck. Thanks a lot, LJN! At least I enjoyed the film!...and the video game's first ten seconds. Man, what a great first ten seconds.

Graphics: 5.0/10.0

Sound: 3.5/10.0

Gameplay: 2.0/10.0

Lasting Value: 1.5/10.0


Overall: 2.5/10.0

Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Released in North America on June 1, 1993 by JVC for the Super Nintendo, after development by Sculpted Software and LucasArts, Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back adapts the second film in the original Star Wars trilogy with a blend of  16-bit 2D side-scrolling and 3D Mode 7 action.

The Super Nintendo changed my life. Up until that clear dividing line, middle school hadn't been going that well. My voice hadn't changed yet. No hair under my arms. Instead of hitting a growth spurt, I just grew two inches a year, until, by tenth grade, I was taller than everybody again (which was little comfort in the 7th grade). Then there was the family stuff. My grandpa was dying. My family had a huge blowout fight on Christmas Eve that resulted in my mom returning our presents to the store. That first 1.5 years of junior high sucked, with late 1994 coming as the suck climax. And then it happened.

Let's just pretend like I've started reviewing the game, and am not giving my entire life story.

After my grandfather died (my namesake, without whom my other site, The Nicsperiment, would be called "Thesomethingelsesperiment") on Friday the 13th, January of 1995, my mother gave me the money from my returned Christmas presents. I pooled that with other money I'd saved from my birthday a few weeks before.
$120, the most money I'd ever seen.
What would I do with my vast sum? I immediately thought of my aged NES, which hadn't given me joy in awhile. Only getting my modern gaming kicks from my next-door neighbor SEGA cousins was fun, but wasn't the same as playing games at home. For some reason, I went to Blockbuster Video for ideas...but that did the trick--that's where I saw a used copy of Super Street Fighter II for the SNES...for $9.99! Yes, the same game I'd fed a billion quarters to at the arcade could now be mine forever for only...40 quarters! But first, I'd need a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. I bid my mother take me to Wal-Mart, where I found a SNES for $99! At 1995 East Baton Rouge Parish tax rates, I could make the SNES and Super Street Fighter II mine for $120! I didn't even notice the SNES came with The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, which is a story for when I finally write a review of that game...needless to say, I played a couple weeks of Street Fighter II, and then a whole lot more weeks playing Zelda. And when I beat Zelda and found another $20 in my pocket, there was only one place to go...back to Blockbuster Video!

Yep, totally reviewing this game right now, and not endlessly bloviating.

I dug through their used SNES shelf and came upon Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back for only $5.99! "Didn't I really like Star Wars when I was a kid?" mused my 13-year-old self. Like so many mid-90's video game purchases that ended up being awesome, I bought Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back on a whim...

Yep, just steady posting pictures for this Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back review, which is definitely gonna talk about the game now.

And I absolutely loved it. I played through that game a million times, beating it again and again, til I saved $70 (Toys 'r Us prices sucked) to buy Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Meanwhile, I found that I suddenly liked watching the original Star Wars trilogy, particularly The Empire Strikes Back, far more than when I was younger. In fact, that entire summer, my younger brother and I watched an original trilogy film daily, and generally all three on a weekend. It was such a great time to be 13! No other Star Wars films existed! ...but then, eventually, they did. My relationship with Star Wars has gone through several permutations since then. I read essentially all of the extended universe novels and comics until, 20 years after that summer, Disney said they no longer existed.

Yep, all these pictures are for a video game review. A VIDEO GAME REVIEW. Speaking of, I've always found the way the graphic design for this game integrates into the level graphics to be stunning.

Meanwhile, I tried so hard to like the prequels, but outside of John Williams' music and a few scattered moments, I just couldn't. The new trilogy has proven to be the most divisive of all with the general public. Star Wars, in the mid-90's, was the definitive trilogy, an untouchable cultural touchstone. It's now threatening to become just another Disney franchise.
After all that has passed, I've nearly forgotten about those great 7th grade afternoons, running through 16-bit Cloud City, brawling with 16-bit Darth Vader, taking down 16-bit Imperial walkers...until I started noticing that Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is starting to turn up on "Hardest SNES Game" lists online...sometimes even turning up as number one. "It's even impossible on easy mode!" some commentators enthuse.

Apparently not as impossible as it is to start this review. START THIS REVIEW! Also, I've been obsessed with this window nearly the entirety of my life.

No, it's not. 13-year-old me beat the game on easy mode a thousand times. Would 37-year-old me come around to these new, Youtube-channel-based opinions? Time to dig out and dust off Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back...

*     *     *

Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back follows the plot of the 1980 film of the same name (minus "Super Star Wars:), as rebel forces, led by Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo, are hiding from the dastardly Empire on the icy planet of Hoth, are discovered, fight to escape, and split up, with Luke going to train in the ways of the force in the swamps of Dagobah, and Han and Leia fleeing to the possibly sinister Cloud City over the planet of Bespin. The player switches between controlling Luke, Han, and Chewie through side-scrolling 2D shooter/lightsaber hack-n-slash levels, as well as 2D snowspeeder and speeder-bike shooter stages, and some Mode-7 space/ice/cloud-battle stages.

Wait, it seems like the review has actually started. Wow! On that note, Cloud City!

Maybe it's because of the sheer amount of time I've put into this game, but Super Star Wars: The Empire Strike Back's controls through all of these modes feel perfect. All player characters and vehicles run, jump, fly, and shoot on a dime. The controls are extremely responsive and intuitive. The on-foot stages, which take up the majority of the game, feature a dedicated button to jump (which can be tapped again to double-jump!), shoot, and one to do something unique with each character. With Luke, it's use a force power, like healing, elevation, or saber throwing. With Han its toss a grenade, which he can find strewn across his levels. With Chewie, it's a devastating spin-attack, with a rapidly-depleting, but self-refilling power bar.

The scene where Chewie fights a futuristic lion-tamer over a pit of lava was definitely my favorite in the film.

Of course, the d-pad is used to move the controllers directionally, but as an added bonus, the SNES L and R shoulder buttons can be used to shift the screen up and down, to get a better idea of your surroundings. This way, you never have to make any blind jumps, which are generally platforming poison. Speaking of, the 2D on-foot side-scrolling portion is a great balance of platforming and run-and-gun action, some genuinely difficult jumps breaking up all the enemy shooting/hack-and-slashing.

Pictured: Hacking and slashing.

The controls for the vehicular portions are similarly spot on. The 2D side-scrolling ones are frantic fun, and incredibly tight--likewise, the 3D stages. The Battle of Hoth is so tightly and completely constructed, it could be its own game. Firing at smaller vehicles, and launching the classic tow-cable at AT-AT Walkers, then circling to wrap them up is intuitive and perfect. Controlling Luke's X-Wing in a late game Bespin invasion is seamless. Flying the Millennium Falcon through a 16-bit, Mode 7 asteroid field and blasting Tie-Fighters controls like a dream.

And look at the attention to detail in the Falcon cockpit! There's only one level set there, and the developers still went above and beyond, even integrating how many lives the player has left into the HUD.

Really, diversity is the name of the game here (EDITOR'S NOTE: No, the game is named Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back) and one of Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back's greatest strengths. That each different style of gameplay is so polished and full of depth is incredible. Even the diversity in the on-foot levels is vast. For instance, when Luke visits Dagobah, he can learn eight different force techniques like "Heal," "Elevation," or "Freeze." His gameplay was already set apart because of his lightsaber (though you can switch between lightsaber and gun with Luke at will!), and his awesome lightsaber spin attack when you double jump, but these force abilities make his stages even more distinctive.With that said, the game's multitude of nearly endless waves of enemies frequently randomly drop some of the same items for each character, like a temporary shield, a life meter extender (in the shape of a lightsaber for your lightsaber shaped life meter!), or a kill-every-enemy-on-screen thermal detonator to bring continuity.

Nice, happy little clouds.

However, the game's other greatest strength is, in a way, a matter of personal bias.
My favorite film of all time is Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo. My second favorite is Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light. My third favorite film of all time is...The Empire Strikes Back.
Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back puts you directly into The Empire Strikes Back as the main agent of action. It covers every single moment of the film that could possibly be used in a video game. The extra bits that it adds in itself are completely logical with the narrative of the film. This is complete, 16-bit Star Wars immersion. There are even awesome, 16-bit cutscenes.

It even has awesome 16-bit cutscenes!...wait, did the review just actually say that? I still can't believe it's finally talking about the game.

At the service of this immersion are some excellent 16-bit graphics and a great soundtrack. Before I get into the praise...yes, there's some graphical slowdown when there's a lot going on onscreen, but it has never once resulting in me dying, and when I was 13, I just called it slow-motion mode and thought it was super badass. Anyway...
The pixel-art style in the 2D stages has been aped for years to the extent that, 25-plus years later, people have been creating 16-bit versions of the new 2010's Star Wars Trilogy trailers in admiration. It's spectacular, with detailed backgrounds and enemies, huge bosses, and brilliant animation. The use of color is brilliant, with palettes mimicking the film exactly. The lights on the buildings in Cloud City even fade on and off...enhancing the zen-like feel of that level, along with the sunset color scheme and a 16-bit SNES interpretation of John Williams' exact music for that area. It's such a favorite sensory experience of mine that I still remember the password..."MCDGRJ," nearly 25 years later.

Just Han and Lando, hanging out.

While there's not an abundance of tracks here, the game's soundtrack features all of the film's major themes, and they're deployed perfectly. Sound effects come directly from the film, with special credit going to the distinctive storm trooper and Imperial Walker laser blasts, respectively...and tauntaun! There's even some digitized speech, primarily employed by Darth Vader, also straight from the film, to further the immersion.

Alright, Boba Fett, you get on outta here!

But what of the reports that Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is far too difficult for mere mortals to attempt? Frankly, it's a bunch of Internet hyperbole.
This game is perfectly manageable on "Easy Mode." There's a password for each level, given when the player gets a game over (a very small flaw here...if you need to turn the game off, you've got to give yourself a game over, i.e. use up all your lives, to get the password). I remember distinctly beating this game for the first time in six days back when I was 13. Coming back to it all these years later, I struggled for a couple minutes to get into a rhythm, did, and then steadily progressed to the end, notebook and pen at my side for any time I did get a game over.
The player even gets three continues after all they've used up all their lives, which restarts you at whatever level save point you last died past...yes, the levels themselves have even more save points than this review has pronoun jumps.
The levels themselves often house secret areas full of one-ups and hearts to fill up your life meter. Enemies also drop hearts. The game also includes four distinctive gun powerups, as well (kept until you die...), which can fall randomly from an enemy, but are also sprinkled across each level. The normal, or "Brave Mode" is very difficult, but still possible with practice and skill. The very hard, or "Jedi Mode" difficulty is nearly impossible, but that's the entire point of a "very hard" mode. Back on easy mode, though, enemies may continually come at you, but their attacks aren't cheap, and you won't get knocked down by random. previously unseen flying enemies when you're trying to jump across a chasm, like in lesser games (*cough--Indiana Jones Greatest Adventures--cough*). There are most definitely far more difficult games than this one.

You see? He's not a machine! He's a man! Whoops, wrong awesome 80's movie!

Anyway, I love this game. I am undoubtedly biased, but considering that, after a nearly 25-year break in which I played many, many other games, including many other Star Wars games, as game technology has advanced exponentially beyond 16-bits, I still found Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back to be an extremely enjoyable, near-transcendent experience, there has to be something here. Yes, that was one sentence.

C'mon, Tauntaun, the review is finally over. Let's get out of here.

Graphics: 9.5/10.0

Sound: 9.5/10.0

Gameplay: 9.5/10.0

Lasting Value: 9.5/10.0


Overall: 9.5/10.0