Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Released in North America on June 1, 1993 by JVC for the Super Nintendo, after development by Sculpted Software and LucasArts, Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back adapts the second film in the original Star Wars trilogy with a blend of  16-bit 2D side-scrolling and 3D Mode 7 action.

The Super Nintendo changed my life. Up until that clear dividing line, middle school hadn't been going that well. My voice hadn't changed yet. No hair under my arms. Instead of hitting a growth spurt, I just grew two inches a year, until, by tenth grade, I was taller than everybody again (which was little comfort in the 7th grade). Then there was the family stuff. My grandpa was dying. My family had a huge blowout fight on Christmas Eve that resulted in my mom returning our presents to the store. That first 1.5 years of junior high sucked, with late 1994 coming as the suck climax. And then it happened.

Let's just pretend like I've started reviewing the game, and am not giving my entire life story.

After my grandfather died (my namesake, without whom my other site, The Nicsperiment, would be called "Thesomethingelsesperiment") on Friday the 13th, January of 1995, my mother gave me the money from my returned Christmas presents. I pooled that with other money I'd saved from my birthday a few weeks before.
$120, the most money I'd ever seen.
What would I do with my vast sum? I immediately thought of my aged NES, which hadn't given me joy in awhile. Only getting my modern gaming kicks from my next-door neighbor SEGA cousins was fun, but wasn't the same as playing games at home. For some reason, I went to Blockbuster Video for ideas...but that did the trick--that's where I saw a used copy of Super Street Fighter II for the SNES...for $9.99! Yes, the same game I'd fed a billion quarters to at the arcade could now be mine forever for only...40 quarters! But first, I'd need a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. I bid my mother take me to Wal-Mart, where I found a SNES for $99! At 1995 East Baton Rouge Parish tax rates, I could make the SNES and Super Street Fighter II mine for $120! I didn't even notice the SNES came with The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, which is a story for when I finally write a review of that game...needless to say, I played a couple weeks of Street Fighter II, and then a whole lot more weeks playing Zelda. And when I beat Zelda and found another $20 in my pocket, there was only one place to go...back to Blockbuster Video!

Yep, totally reviewing this game right now, and not endlessly bloviating.

I dug through their used SNES shelf and came upon Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back for only $5.99! "Didn't I really like Star Wars when I was a kid?" mused my 13-year-old self. Like so many mid-90's video game purchases that ended up being awesome, I bought Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back on a whim...

Yep, just steady posting pictures for this Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back review, which is definitely gonna talk about the game now.

And I absolutely loved it. I played through that game a million times, beating it again and again, til I saved $70 (Toys 'r Us prices sucked) to buy Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Meanwhile, I found that I suddenly liked watching the original Star Wars trilogy, particularly The Empire Strikes Back, far more than when I was younger. In fact, that entire summer, my younger brother and I watched an original trilogy film daily, and generally all three on a weekend. It was such a great time to be 13! No other Star Wars films existed! ...but then, eventually, they did. My relationship with Star Wars has gone through several permutations since then. I read essentially all of the extended universe novels and comics until, 20 years after that summer, Disney said they no longer existed.

Yep, all these pictures are for a video game review. A VIDEO GAME REVIEW. Speaking of, I've always found the way the graphic design for this game integrates into the level graphics to be stunning.

Meanwhile, I tried so hard to like the prequels, but outside of John Williams' music and a few scattered moments, I just couldn't. The new trilogy has proven to be the most divisive of all with the general public. Star Wars, in the mid-90's, was the definitive trilogy, an untouchable cultural touchstone. It's now threatening to become just another Disney franchise.
After all that has passed, I've nearly forgotten about those great 7th grade afternoons, running through 16-bit Cloud City, brawling with 16-bit Darth Vader, taking down 16-bit Imperial walkers...until I started noticing that Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is starting to turn up on "Hardest SNES Game" lists online...sometimes even turning up as number one. "It's even impossible on easy mode!" some commentators enthuse.

Apparently not as impossible as it is to start this review. START THIS REVIEW! Also, I've been obsessed with this window nearly the entirety of my life.

No, it's not. 13-year-old me beat the game on easy mode a thousand times. Would 37-year-old me come around to these new, Youtube-channel-based opinions? Time to dig out and dust off Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back...

*     *     *

Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back follows the plot of the 1980 film of the same name (minus "Super Star Wars:), as rebel forces, led by Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo, are hiding from the dastardly Empire on the icy planet of Hoth, are discovered, fight to escape, and split up, with Luke going to train in the ways of the force in the swamps of Dagobah, and Han and Leia fleeing to the possibly sinister Cloud City over the planet of Bespin. The player switches between controlling Luke, Han, and Chewie through side-scrolling 2D shooter/lightsaber hack-n-slash levels, as well as 2D snowspeeder and speeder-bike shooter stages, and some Mode-7 space/ice/cloud-battle stages.

Wait, it seems like the review has actually started. Wow! On that note, Cloud City!

Maybe it's because of the sheer amount of time I've put into this game, but Super Star Wars: The Empire Strike Back's controls through all of these modes feel perfect. All player characters and vehicles run, jump, fly, and shoot on a dime. The controls are extremely responsive and intuitive. The on-foot stages, which take up the majority of the game, feature a dedicated button to jump (which can be tapped again to double-jump!), shoot, and one to do something unique with each character. With Luke, it's use a force power, like healing, elevation, or saber throwing. With Han its toss a grenade, which he can find strewn across his levels. With Chewie, it's a devastating spin-attack, with a rapidly-depleting, but self-refilling power bar.

The scene where Chewie fights a futuristic lion-tamer over a pit of lava was definitely my favorite in the film.

Of course, the d-pad is used to move the controllers directionally, but as an added bonus, the SNES L and R shoulder buttons can be used to shift the screen up and down, to get a better idea of your surroundings. This way, you never have to make any blind jumps, which are generally platforming poison. Speaking of, the 2D on-foot side-scrolling portion is a great balance of platforming and run-and-gun action, some genuinely difficult jumps breaking up all the enemy shooting/hack-and-slashing.

Pictured: Hacking and slashing.

The controls for the vehicular portions are similarly spot on. The 2D side-scrolling ones are frantic fun, and incredibly tight--likewise, the 3D stages. The Battle of Hoth is so tightly and completely constructed, it could be its own game. Firing at smaller vehicles, and launching the classic tow-cable at AT-AT Walkers, then circling to wrap them up is intuitive and perfect. Controlling Luke's X-Wing in a late game Bespin invasion is seamless. Flying the Millennium Falcon through a 16-bit, Mode 7 asteroid field and blasting Tie-Fighters controls like a dream.

And look at the attention to detail in the Falcon cockpit! There's only one level set there, and the developers still went above and beyond, even integrating how many lives the player has left into the HUD.

Really, diversity is the name of the game here (EDITOR'S NOTE: No, the game is named Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back) and one of Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back's greatest strengths. That each different style of gameplay is so polished and full of depth is incredible. Even the diversity in the on-foot levels is vast. For instance, when Luke visits Dagobah, he can learn eight different force techniques like "Heal," "Elevation," or "Freeze." His gameplay was already set apart because of his lightsaber (though you can switch between lightsaber and gun with Luke at will!), and his awesome lightsaber spin attack when you double jump, but these force abilities make his stages even more distinctive.With that said, the game's multitude of nearly endless waves of enemies frequently randomly drop some of the same items for each character, like a temporary shield, a life meter extender (in the shape of a lightsaber for your lightsaber shaped life meter!), or a kill-every-enemy-on-screen thermal detonator to bring continuity.

Nice, happy little clouds.

However, the game's other greatest strength is, in a way, a matter of personal bias.
My favorite film of all time is Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo. My second favorite is Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light. My third favorite film of all time is...The Empire Strikes Back.
Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back puts you directly into The Empire Strikes Back as the main agent of action. It covers every single moment of the film that could possibly be used in a video game. The extra bits that it adds in itself are completely logical with the narrative of the film. This is complete, 16-bit Star Wars immersion. There are even awesome, 16-bit cutscenes.

It even has awesome 16-bit cutscenes!...wait, did the review just actually say that? I still can't believe it's finally talking about the game.

At the service of this immersion are some excellent 16-bit graphics and a great soundtrack. Before I get into the praise...yes, there's some graphical slowdown when there's a lot going on onscreen, but it has never once resulting in me dying, and when I was 13, I just called it slow-motion mode and thought it was super badass. Anyway...
The pixel-art style in the 2D stages has been aped for years to the extent that, 25-plus years later, people have been creating 16-bit versions of the new 2010's Star Wars Trilogy trailers in admiration. It's spectacular, with detailed backgrounds and enemies, huge bosses, and brilliant animation. The use of color is brilliant, with palettes mimicking the film exactly. The lights on the buildings in Cloud City even fade on and off...enhancing the zen-like feel of that level, along with the sunset color scheme and a 16-bit SNES interpretation of John Williams' exact music for that area. It's such a favorite sensory experience of mine that I still remember the password..."MCDGRJ," nearly 25 years later.

Just Han and Lando, hanging out.

While there's not an abundance of tracks here, the game's soundtrack features all of the film's major themes, and they're deployed perfectly. Sound effects come directly from the film, with special credit going to the distinctive storm trooper and Imperial Walker laser blasts, respectively...and tauntaun! There's even some digitized speech, primarily employed by Darth Vader, also straight from the film, to further the immersion.

Alright, Boba Fett, you get on outta here!

But what of the reports that Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is far too difficult for mere mortals to attempt? Frankly, it's a bunch of Internet hyperbole.
This game is perfectly manageable on "Easy Mode." There's a password for each level, given when the player gets a game over (a very small flaw here...if you need to turn the game off, you've got to give yourself a game over, i.e. use up all your lives, to get the password). I remember distinctly beating this game for the first time in six days back when I was 13. Coming back to it all these years later, I struggled for a couple minutes to get into a rhythm, did, and then steadily progressed to the end, notebook and pen at my side for any time I did get a game over.
The player even gets three continues after all they've used up all their lives, which restarts you at whatever level save point you last died past...yes, the levels themselves have even more save points than this review has pronoun jumps.
The levels themselves often house secret areas full of one-ups and hearts to fill up your life meter. Enemies also drop hearts. The game also includes four distinctive gun powerups, as well (kept until you die...), which can fall randomly from an enemy, but are also sprinkled across each level. The normal, or "Brave Mode" is very difficult, but still possible with practice and skill. The very hard, or "Jedi Mode" difficulty is nearly impossible, but that's the entire point of a "very hard" mode. Back on easy mode, though, enemies may continually come at you, but their attacks aren't cheap, and you won't get knocked down by random. previously unseen flying enemies when you're trying to jump across a chasm, like in lesser games (*cough--Indiana Jones Greatest Adventures--cough*). There are most definitely far more difficult games than this one.

You see? He's not a machine! He's a man! Whoops, wrong awesome 80's movie!

Anyway, I love this game. I am undoubtedly biased, but considering that, after a nearly 25-year break in which I played many, many other games, including many other Star Wars games, as game technology has advanced exponentially beyond 16-bits, I still found Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back to be an extremely enjoyable, near-transcendent experience, there has to be something here. Yes, that was one sentence.

C'mon, Tauntaun, the review is finally over. Let's get out of here.

Graphics: 9.5/10.0

Sound: 9.5/10.0

Gameplay: 9.5/10.0

Lasting Value: 9.5/10.0


Overall: 9.5/10.0

Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures

Released in North America on October 11, 1994 for the Super Nintendo by Lucasarts and JVC, and developed by Factor 5, Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures recreates the globetrotting archaeologist's cinematic adventures with 2D side-scrolling action. 

Like most children of the 80's, my cinematic youth's landmarks are signed by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Star Wars and Indiana Jones operated on some heavenly plane far above the Earth of other films, only sometimes visited for brief moments by Back to the Future and the Goonies. Indiana Jones rested on top of the pinnacle of mighty heroes, the man every boy, or at least this man when he was a boy wanted to be. The heroic archaeologist was brave, adventurous, virtuous, but not too virtuous, too cool for school, but also the teacher, and most importantly, able to take a licking and keep on ticking. While 90's action stars like Steven Seagal were too immaculate to even take a punch, 80's hero, Harrison Ford, was getting the crap kicked out of him by huge Nazi goons (before, of course, getting in a few good punches, and outsmarting them), getting drug through the desert by a truck, REALLY, and I mean REALLY getting drug through the desert by a truck WITH NO CGI ASSISTANCE, and partaking in so much dangerous action that Ford literally had to staple his hat to his head to keep it from flying away. What a guy.

There he is

Of course, when Lucasarts announced they would be releasing a Super Nintendo game based on all three films' worth of Indy action, I freaked out. The Super Star Wars games Lucasarts had released were some of my favorites. Now, the greatest hero of all was going to be immortalized in 16-bits, in a 2D side-scroller, just as Star Wars' heroes were. Be still my beating middle-school heart.
However, it looked like a different developer would be working on this game for Lucasarts. While Sculpted Software created the Super Star Wars games for the Super Nintendo, Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures would be developed by German upstarts, Factor Five.

Nothing Indy can't handle

I have 90's history with this game. My local Sears clearanced out a huge section of their SNES games to make room for Playstation, and the incoming Nintendo 64. They also had a demo Sega Genesis running Sonic & Knuckles at the time. I saw they were selling Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures for $20. I wish I would have bought it then. That's half of what I paid for it (in the box) recently. At some point in the 90's, I did rent it, and made it to the final boss, though I can't remember if I beat him or not. For some reason, 20+ years later, I just got the fever to buy it and play through it. Does it do Indy justice?

Run, Indy, it's my expectations!

Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures looks good. It ran on the Super Star Wars engine, and those are good looking games, as well. Levels are colorful, detailed, and faithful to the aesthetics of the films. Indy himself is excellently animated, and it's a joy to see this gloriously 16-bit depiction of him running, jumping, and whipping around the world. Enemies are mostly well-rendered, as well. Special mention must go to the backgrounds. The original Indy films are famous for their incredibly realistic background matte paintings, which frankly put many computer-generated backgrounds of today to shame. The backgrounds for all 28 of Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures' levels are treated with equal love and detail. They're beautiful, and I died a few times admiring their distant mountain peaks, and bustling cityscapes.

Hey guys, can we stop fighting for just a second to look at these happy little clouds?

The music is also given great care, as each track is a meticulously rendered 16-bit interpretation of the themes composer, John Williams, created for the films. "The Raiders March," "Main Title: South Ameria 1936," "The Basket Game," "The Map Room: Dawn," and "Slalom on Mt. Humol," among several others are faithfully recreated, with all the glorious, warm, Super Nintendo textures you could want. Unfortunately, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is not represented musically at all, and many themes from earlier in the game are simply repeated for the latter portions. Considering other Super Nintendo games released around the time of Greatest Adventures, i.e., Chrono Trigger, include more than 60 tracks, the fact that there is only a single digit amount of songs here, when the films include multitudes of musical cues, is inexcusable. Sound effects are great, with Indy's whip sounding exactly like his whip in the film, and some digitized speech, like Indy saying "Let's go!" at the start of each level adding an extra layer of immersion. The birds sound weird, though, and boy, will I get to those birds again later.

Let's, uh...swing away from that for now.

As far as gameplay goes, Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures is a mixed bag. Factor Five have generally been known more for their technical prowess than game design. They were one of the only developers to get film-worthy sound out of the Nintendo 64, and their Rogue Squadron games look and sound incredible, but none of those games feature mind-blowing gameplay. Same thing here. Indy controls okay, his running, walking, and jumping movements feel right, and his trademark bullwhip handles like a dream. However, the crouch and roll mechanics feel a little off, which can be frustrating when those moves are needed in dangerous areas. That's a minor complaint, though. The more major problems with this game don't really lie in how Indy moves, but in the environments he moves through. As I've said, they look great, highly detailed, with stuff moving everywhere. However, Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures falls prey to the same problems lesser 2D Castlevanias do.
Indeed, Indy's whip mechanics are quite similar to the Dracula-hunting series' weapon of choice, as Indy can swing from hooks, and like in absolute classic, Castlevania IV, strike with his whip in almost any direction. The problems come when Indy has to jump over one of the games many pits. Apparently, bio-diversity over pits is higher than in the rainforest, because when Indy's in mid-air over their depths, a previously unseen bird, bat, or rock will always strikes him from the sky...knocking him backward into the pit...and killing him.

A guy who can rip out a human heart with his bare hands? No problem. A two-pound bird with hollow bones? Insurmountable.

This is insanely frustrating, just as it is in the games I previously mentioned. Castlevania: Dracula X, which I just reviewed, is lousy with it. Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures does not at all need this cheap difficulty spiker. The player is forced to trial-and-error memorize their way through many of the game's levels, discovering where all the hidden airborne wildlife is. The game would have been just fine without this element. Sure, it would be a shorter adventure, but at least it would be more satisfying, less aggravating, and require more skill than repetition-ingrained memory. Also, this makes the game feel silly. Indy's greatest enemies should be Nazi's...not an unceasing horde of unladen swallows (and sometimes laden! I'm not kidding, some of them toss rocks at you!). Indeed, the parts where you actually fight Nazis are a blast, when you're also not being dive-bombed by pernicious birds.

Fighting a Nazi on top of moving tank #lifegoals Or, I guess I could fight a bird instead.

Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures' weapons include the previously mentioned whip, Indy's fists (the punching mechanic is fun in theory, but Indy seems to miss when his fist is dead on just a few too many times), and at select moments, a gun with unlimited ammunition. The gun is weaker than the whip, but obviously has greater range. To highlight the scatterbrained level design, there are a few stages where Indy is given the pistol, or some health refuel (health in the shape of hearts is hidden around the levels) just as he's exiting the stage...which does him and the player no good. The game also features collectible jewels, or maybe gold balls, I'm not sure, scattered through each level. Collect 100, and in true Nintendo fashion, you receive an extra life. There are also some extra lives hidden throughout a few of the game's levels. The player starts with three, and is allowed three continues when their lives are expired. Each geographic area of the game, generally composed of 2-4 levels, has its own password, which the player can use to return when they've had a game over, or God forbid, turned off their SNES. This means that during a difficult, four-level area, if the player suffers a game over at the boss, of which the game has several, they have to start the entire area over. True to an old-school difficulty vibe, but annoying to modern gaming sensibilities. True to the films, a map is superimposed over images of Indy traveling from area to geographic area, when he completes the former, and a red line follows his progress.

Anywhere they don't have birds

On a production value level, the game features text-supported screenshots from the films that loosely tell their stories between levels, though these screens are not as impressive as the more interactive animated ones in the Super Star Wars games, as unfair a comparison as that may be. There are also three awesomely Mode 7 vehicle levels, one on a raft going down a mountain, one on a mine cart, and one in a plane. The first is thrilling, the second has its frustrations, and the third requires an exploitation of the frame to complete. If you'll remember, Mode 7 is a utilization of the Super Nintendo's highly touted ability to create the highly-pixelated illusion of movement through a 3D space.

In other words, it's basically a PS4 game.

Ugh. I love the aesthetics and vibe of this game. It captures a period of time where Indiana Jones and Star Wars, free of the Crystal Skull and prequel debacles, were unassailable. I looked at incredible console and computer games, lithographs, and other assorted Lucasfilm merchandise in the Lucasarts catalogue, under a blue, relaxed, puffy-cloud pocked sky. I read books by Timothy Zahn, and watched all my favorite Lucasfilm works, except for Howard the Duck, which I pretended didn't exist, on the USA Network. Life couldn't get any better. Looking back, though, underneath the dreamy vibe, Indy deserved a better 16-bit game than this. It's fun on a nostalgic, and dopamine-releasing level, but it's too flawed to be a classic like the films upon which it's based.


Graphics: 8.5/10.0

Sound: 8.0/10.0

Gameplay: 6.5/10.0

Lasting Value: 5.0/10.0


Overall: 6.8/10.0

Castlevania: Dracula X

Released in North American in September of 1995 for the Super Nintendo by Konami, Castlevania: Dracula X features classic, 2D side-scrolling, monster-killing action in Dracula's castle.

$200. That's how much an original Castlevania: Dracula X cartridge will cost you in today's retrogaming market. Want the box and booklet?  Got $500? For a long time, I didn't even know Dracula X existed. I loved and played the heck out of the 1991 Super Nintendo entry in the Castlevania series, Castlevania IV. That's an all-time favorite of mine. When I found out there was an even newer Castlevania game for the Super Nintendo, I freaked out. With four years of technological advances, would this game be even better than its predecessor? Then I started hearing some strange information: Dracula X was actually only a subpar port of a Japanese only CD game called Rondo of Blood. Konami barely produced any copies of the game. No stores had it. Years later, when online shopping was an option, I found the game, but it was ridiculously overpriced. It has has only gone up in value since. Over time, various versions came out for reasonable prices on various Nintendo consoles' eShops. Still, I wanted to play the game on my Super Nintendo, not on a 3DS. Thankfully, there's another option, and it rhymes with spreeproduction, a legit word I just made up. Time to suit up and grab the Vampire Killer.

Time for some Clinton administration-era gaming

 Dracula X furthers the saga of the Belmont clan, a family that has to battle Dracula and his fiends every hundred years, when he rises from his grave. This time its Richter Belmont, who must rescue his girlfriend, Annette, from Dracula's clutches.
Previous reviews have negatively compared Dracula X to Rondo of Blood. Considering Rondo of Blood is an obscure game from a completely different system that never even made it to America, and that Dracula X only takes a few graphical assets and some music from it, that's not exactly fair. What they should be comparing Dracula X to is the four years older Super Nintendo classic, Castlevania IV. Or I guess they, in this case, me, should try judging Dracula X by its own merits. So here's an experiential review, as in, here is a review of the game as I am playing it.
Okay, so the title screen is not as atmospheric as Castlevania IV...wait, crap, I'm not supposed to compare them. Okay, let's start this thing. The first level is stunning. It takes place in a burning town, and it looks great! Flames dancing into the sky, heat warping the sight of the impressive background architecture.

We didn't start the fire, but I really hope this is Billy Joel's re-animated skeleton, so that I can finally punish him for writing  that terrible song.

The music is uh...an early 90's take on Castlevania's gothic trademarked music. The opening level's music begins with a wah-wah disco guitar sound before settling into a more traditional symphonic mold. The sound quality is great, really pushing the already famously good Super Nintendo sound chip. However, after a few minutes of gameplay, something becomes painfully clear: from a control standpoint, Dracula X is a throwback to the original NES games in the series...which is not a good thing. The first Castlevania game treated jumping like a thing Super Mario Bros. didn't already perfect--once you jump forward, there's no changing your momentum. Castlevania IV remedied this...but Dracula X brings this issue back like it's 1986.

Er...time for some Reagan administration-era gaming?

This is highly exacerbated by the fact that Dracula X loves throwing unseen bats and flying medusa heads at the player. Jump forward across a chasm, and chances are high a bat might fly onto the screen while you are in midair, and knock you backward. Knock you backward? Yes, that's another element Dracula X has inexplicably retrieved from 1986. When something hits Richter, he is knocked backward a couple of feet. If you are standing on, or about to land on a platform, and a stupid, previously unseen bat flies into you, get ready to go toppling over into a bottomless chasm. This is the most common form of death in Dracula X, and it is maddening. IT IS INFURIATING.

Uh, oh, better gaze into this soothing cave photo to calm down.

Okay, I'm better, but now I'm too flustered to keep writing this review as if I'm first playing the game. Let's cut the illusion.
The jump and "knock-back" mechanics in Dracula X are unforgivable. Castlevania IV progressed this series into the 90's, and for the most part, X throws it right back into the soft, gauzy perm of the 80's, replete with gameplay that feels more like trial-and-error memorization than pure skill. Admittedly, those 80's games are fun, but those particular mechanics are absolutely frustrating. Dracula X is fun in the same way, really feeling more than anything like a big dumb, late 80's arcade version of Castlevania, with large character sprites, and extremely simple gameplay. Castlevania IV let its Belmont hero swing from hooks with his whip, and lash out in any direction, while giving the player ultimate control over his jumps. That 1991 game has an air of sophistication that Dracula X never even sniffs. However, my previous statement rings true. Dracula X can only be judged on its own merits: as that of a big, dumb, arcade style Castlevania.

Look, it's big, dumb Dracula.

Like an arcade game, it's only got a limited amount of levels...in this case nine, though two of those are only accessed by taking an alternate path through the game...meaning that in any given playthrough there are only seven levels. Like an arcade game, the difficulty is heightened to lengthen the game (and get more of your quarters!), in this case with the lousy jump mechanics and cheap enemy locations. Even the one element of sophistication the game has, giving the player access to two pretty cool alternate levels in the middle of the game, only makes those levels accessible by crossing a chasm filled with tiny platforms and swarming flying enemies that knock Richter into a pit holding the path to the main stretch of levels.

You don't even want to know what I did to get to this water dragon boss.

The soundtrack mostly foregoes Castelvania IV's complex, gothic atmosphere for a bouncy, more superficial interpretation, just like you would have heard in a late 80's arcade. The game's one step forward for the series, the item crash, feels like an arcade super button as well--it allows the player to take their secondary weapon, a throwing axe, holy water, etc., and use a large chunk of its ammo to perform a massive, screen-filling attack. The graphics are also bold and in-your-face, with the large sprites I previously mentioned, and a simple, attractive design. Even the game's big, generally awesome-looking bosses feel a bit arcade-y.

All that's missing is that annoying stranger kid standing too close to you, trying to give you gameplay tips.

Thankfully, unlike the arcade, you don't have to put quarters in to keep playing when you die. Like Castlevania IV, Castlevania: Dracula X includes a password system. However, even with the heightened difficultly, and branching level paths, which lead to slightly different game endings, experiencing everything Dracula X has to offer isn't going to take even the most average player long. Maybe ten hours total if you take a lot of breaks to put the controller down to make some sandwiches. My overwhelming feeling is that while Castlevania IV is the definitive Castlevania game for the SNES, and a series standout, I'm not sad that Dracula X exists. For all its flaws, it's a unique foray into the Castelvania universe, and I can't say it's one I won't want to take again. I'm just glad that for players like me who want to experience the game on their original Super Nintendo, there are...um*cough*alternative means*cough*...to paying a fang and a leg.

Besides, climbing these steps is good for my calves.

Graphics: 8.5/10.0

Sound: 7.0/10.0

Gameplay: 6.5/10.0

Lasting Value: 5.0/10.0


Overall: 7.0/10.0

Super Metroid

Released in North America on April 18, 1994 by Nintendo, and developed for the Super Nintendo by Nintendo R&D1 and Intelligent Systems, Super Metroid sends bounty hunter, Samus Aran, into the 2D caves of Zebes to hunt down the titular creatures.

Everybody's got that game: you spend hours upon hours on it, get close to the end...and then your save file gets erased. You slam the game back into the box, and you move on. Stupid game. Well, if that game is Super Metroid, you better boot it back up.

It's super! I wish Nintendo would have continued to title their consoles with superlatives. We could have had the Excellent Nintendo, the Incredible Nintendo, the Awesome Nintendo and the Magnificent Nintendo, the latter of which would have surely sold better than the Wii U. No confusion about what a Magnificent Nintendo is. It's magnificent!

My Super Metroid tale is twisted, but brief. The first Metroid for NES was too obtuse for me. I skipped the SNES one, though I did play it a little bit at Toys r Us. Finally, the greatest game of all time candidate, Metroid Prime, woke me from my Metroid stupor. That game blew my mind, and was a one-of-a-kind, personal experience. I then decided to break my Super Metroid fast. I picked it up for my SNES, and dove in, enjoying the experience on the same level I did Metroid Prime...and then, just before Ridley, right before the final portion of the game, my file was erased. Goodbye Super Metroid.

I guess I'll find some other planet full of life-force sucking jellyfish!

I don't know what recently brought me back, but I think it was a combination of Axiom Verge re-awakening those Metroid feelings, and me just missing the eight-years dormant Metroid series. Whatever the case, I booted up my SNES and dove back into the caves of Zebes. Super Metroid is awesome on such a fundamental level, reviewing it will be easily brief.

Even for me, though that means I'll have to cut my 28-paragraphs of remarks about the game's awesome weather effects.

Super Metroid immediately establishes the series' trademark feelings of isolation,. The opening cinematic, set to haunting, atmospheric music, catches the player up to speed with series protagonist, the heavily-armored bounty hunter, Samus Aran. After answering a distress call in a remote, lonely corner of space, Samus ends up on the planet Zebes. She finds that those dastardly Space Pirates are again experimenting with the terrifying, life-force sucking creatures known as Metroids, and only she can stop them. To do so, she must traverse the vast, environmentally diverse, underground caves of Zebes, fighting Zebes' antagonistic native life forms, and avoiding its spiky, often lava-filled perils. Along the way, she'll earn new items and abilities to help her in her quest.

Out of the mouth of madness. Did I mention the architecture in this game is awesome?

Super Metroid helped introduce the concept of exploring a large, 2D world, where gaining new abilities allows the player to explore heretofore inaccessible portions of the map. The map, which is accesible at all times, shows visited areas as pink, and unvisited as blue. The blue portions will tantalize all but the least curious gamers. Opening more and more of the map is incredibly satisfying--it's nuts that Nintendo was able to perfect this concept on the first try. While some other 2-D games following suit have been excellent, particularly those in the Castlevania series, they're all pretenders to Super Metroid. The map layout is incredible, and the terrain is so varied and full of well-designed, sometimes dastardly life, it's always a joy to explore. Samus' isolation (she doesn't run into a single other speaking character throughout the game) gives Super Metroid a meditative quality, an incredible feat given the game's high-octane action.

Teach me your ways, oh wise bird!

Samus can run at blazing fast speeds, and is given an ever more destructive arsenal to destroy aggressive alien life, as well as parts of her surroundings. The game encourages running and firing at the same time, and maps the weapons and Samus' expanding gamut of abilities to the controller with precision and excellence. Samus also has several inborn abilities that the game only shows to the player when Samus runs into some of Zebes' less antagonistic lifeforms. There's a section where the player learns how to high jump by watching a native bird-like creature do it, which is so fluid and intuitive, it is miraculous that at no point does the game actually spell out how to do it. There are even some abilities, like wall jumping, that take mastery to consistently pull-off, and yet aren't actually needed to complete the game. They're just welcome augmentations on perfection. The same goes for the game's dozens of hidden areas, which don't have to be found, but hold upgrades that give Samus a larger life meter, and more ammo capacity for missiles and bombs.

I'm coming for you, Ridley, you freaking pansy.

Boss battles are especially satisfying in their epic, cinematic qualities, with some bosses filling, or larger than the entire screen, and often having death animations or scripted moments that only make Super Metroid feel like the greatest 16-bit movie ever made even more. The greatest part is that these moments are only accessible because of your efforts. Indeed, Super Metroid never holds the player's hand and offers quite a challenge, in all of its alien-battling, lava-pit-jumping glory. Save points are generously placed around Zebes (the game offers three save slots), but not to the degree that the game is coddling the player. The aforementioned exploration isn't only encouraged, but also necessary. Sometimes, rolling into Samus' tradmark "morph-ball" form, and finding a tiny, bomb-able crevice, might be the only way to progress.

I'm gonna shove that tail down your throat, bitch. Er...sorry, my video game trash-talk isn't appropriate here. This is a family review site. I'm gonna shove that tail down your throat...sir?

Super Metroid features a very cohesive, beautiful, minimalist art style. The animations, particularly of Samus herself, as well as the game's mammoth bosses, are excellent. Gameplay is never negatively affected by performance issues, no matter how many of those trademark SNES explosions are filling the screen. The soundtrack is immersive and diverse, creepily ambient when it needs to be, and high-energy and melodious in its livelier moments. It's just perfect. It i's essentially, like the SNES-sharing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, the archetypal perfect game. While the latter is THE isometric action-RPG game, Super Metroid is THE 2-D explorative action game.

Eh, now you do eventually plan to have Metroids in your Metroid game, right? *Five minutes later* Get them away! Get them away!!!

So if you've avoided Super Metroid to this point because you're too young, you're too old, you just missed it, or your save file got erased right before the end, and you're still angry, just play it. It's one of the greatest games of all time. The main mission may only take you 15-20 hours to complete, but it's a perfect 15-20 hours. There are seemingly hundreds of hidden items strewn around Zebes that you can collect afterward, and doing so will increase your completion percentage...which leads to a better ending. For completionists, or those who simply don't want to leave the orbit of FS-176, this essentially doubles the gameplay. I can't overstate it: Super Metroid is gaming perfection.


Graphics: 10.0/10.0

Sound: 10.0/10.0

Gameplay: 10.0/10.0

Lasting Value: 10.0/10.0


Overall: 10.0/10.0

Final Fight

Final Fight is a 2D beat-em-up, released by Capcom for the Super Nintendo in 1991.

Lately, I've been getting really miffed at the description "lovingly crafted." That phrase seems like the go-to compliment in 2018 reviews, but isn't everything lovingly crafted? Does that description really mean anything? When I play Final Fight for the SNES, I am reminded that not everything is lovingly crafted. Some things are crafted under an overwhelmingly pervasive "meh."
Final Fight for SNES is a 2D, two-button beat-em-up game. Choose between bulky, slow Haggar, whose daughter has been kidnapped, and the more ability-balanced Cody, the boyfriend of the kidnapped girl. Punch with "Y" and jump with "B." Push them at the same time to perform a supermove that drains your life meter. Jump, then press "Y," and you can do a flying kick. Use the directional-pad to traverse a 2D corridor, and pummel all the bad guys. That's it.

What could possibly go wrong?

Final Fight got its start in the arcades. This SNES version is a port of the original arcade game. Some ports are "lovingly crafted," even though they're only ports. It's very obvious even from the opening menu that the SNES port of Final Fight is not. That's because there is no main menu. If the game featured a two-player cooperative mode like its original arcade version, you'd need a menu to select between one and two player mode. Since the SNES version only features solo play, no main menu is needed. You just press start and choose one of the two characters available. Something feels strange, though, because Cody's controls feel really balanced, and Haggar feels extremely slow, yet overpowered. Shouldn't there be a faster, weaker character, too? Oh, wait, the arcade version did have a faster, weaker character, named Guy. If you want to use him on the SNES, you have to play Final Fight Guy, which is literally the same game as this, but with Guy in the place of Cody. I guess they could have just put all three in one game, but that would have taken just a little more effort than Capcom wanted to give here.

Hey, lady, you dropped your necklace. Oh, wait, Nintendo edited all of the ladies out of this game.

The good news is that the game does look good. Sprites are huge, with Haggar and Cody both seeming to take up the entire screen. Backgrounds are colorful and detailed. However, even this comes with several catches. The first is that the framerate slows down when there is too much happening onscreen. The second is that only three bad guys can be on screen at once, in an effort to mitigate the slowdown. How slow would the game have been if they'd let a normal amount of bad guys in?

Hey, Capcom, give me your lunch money!

You'd think less bad guys onscreen at a time would make the game easier, but instead, it is mystifyingly difficult. Your character never seems to quite move fast enough, with bad guys often getting a surprising jump on them, or surrounding them without the player having a chance to react. Certain villains like Andore (who looks suspiciously like a wrestler with a similar name) have ridiculously cheap moves, like an unavoidable body slam after the player has already been hit by him. It's infuriating. This, coupled with the slowness of the characters just makes Final Fight for SNES feel off. The anonymous soundtrack, none of which sticks in memory for more than a few seconds doesn't help matters. This game just isn't very fun.
You know what is a "lovingly crafted" 16-bit beat-em-up from 1991? Streets of Rage. Go play that instead.

1991 Capcom

Graphics: 7.0/10.0

Sound: 6.0/10.0

Gameplay: 6.0/10.0

Lasting Value: 5.0/10.0


Overall: 6.0/10.0